It’s just not fair!!

How many times have we heard this lament from the mouths of our children? More than likely we’ve entertained the thought ourselves. It’s not fair! We’ve probably even said the words more than once. Whether it be a missed job opportunity, an illness, injury, or watching someone else get what we feel like we deserve, those 3 words sure are easy to wallow in!

IT’S. NOT. FAIR!!!  

They are easy to say, easy to feel. We don’t deserve this difficult situation we find ourselves in. We don’t deserve to struggle, to be sick, to worry about bills…. It’s NOT fair!! 

The funny thing about these easy words, is the more we say them, the more things we find that they apply to. The fact of the matter is that LOTS of things in life fit into the category of ‘NOT FAIR.’ The more attention we give to those 3 words, the more miserable those not fair things become, until, before long, the unfair is all we see.  

I know….I know….what you’re dealing with REALLY IS unfair. You’re a great person, you don’t deserve this. It’s not like normal ‘not fair’ stuff- what you’re dealing with IS REALLY , TRULY, HONEST TO GOODNESS- Unfair! I hear you! I don’t doubt it, but let’s take a minute to consider the possibilities, of blessings in the diversion of your ‘fair’ plan in life. What would you be missing out on if your path only consisted of rose petals and cash? Would your faith be the same? Your confidence in the support and love that surrounds you would have never been tested. That warm peaceful feeling you get when you take an offered hug, word of support, or tangible help would be something you’d never have the joy of feeling. If fair is all we ever knew, we would never have the opportunity to know what we are capable of in adversity. If our plan was really the only way, we’d never get the chance to really live in all the colors we are made to. 

Hard times in life are a guarantee. We can either be defined by them, or by the grace with which we handle them. 

Overcoming the not fair days, months, and sometimes even years in life, is not an easy task. Searching for the well hidden silver lining instead of the easily seen NOT FAIR of adversity, can, at first, feel impossible. But strangely enough just like those easily spoken words, the silver lining mentality, also becomes easier with each use. Before you know it, the glimmer of hope in each ‘not fair’ will become what you see and the detours in life’s path with begin to look like opportunities to grow instead of ones to wilt. It’s often said that there is a plan in life…. What if the things that don’t go according to ‘our plan’ is really the plan after-all? Maybe the things that are ‘unfair’ are the exact things that will bring us to the very best life has to offer! 

Eliminate ‘it’s not fair’ from your vocabulary and from that of your family for one month. Instead ask yourselves and each other if you can change it, if you can, do so, and if you can’t, use the opportunity to find the silver lining, and encourage each other through it. You’ll be amazed at how grateful you can become for those unfair moments in life and the gifts they bring with them!